I am a bit hesitant or ambiguous or scared about doing this, but then again, I think it may be of use and meaning, and hopefully of some entertainment, for those of you who are visiting this site for the nurturing of the interest you have in my music. I would like to take this opportunity to proclaim:
I am deeply, humbly and incredibly grateful for your listening and for your attention.

This page will be scribbled at when ever I feel it natural, so no promises of so and so many chapters per month, but solely scribbles with the true impulse and immediacy of an improvising musician.

Latest:

17th of October 2006: So, from May till now. Quite a long time, and quite much has been going on, I’ll not go into too much details, as it is more of a mix of a private and professional scope. But anyway I have had to face the fact that it’s been necessary for me to shift gear for a little while. Take it slow. And now set off some time just to heal and do very little. Recharge. Be still. Meditate. Swim. Practice my Dhrupad singing (a particular Indian music tradition and voice technique deriving from meditation and yoga that I’m studying with the wonderful Amelia Cuni) in order to find back to the healthy voice. Because all this distortion and confusion I’ve been experiencing the last six months has dug itself quite deeply into my voice and health. (That sounds very dramatic, yet rather than dramatic I think the word “intense” is the right one to describe the overall aspect of this past period). And, what I find is actually that the Dhrupad practicing, with its deeper focus on an inner voice, a fully effortless tone and a “non-athletic”, relaxed and soothing approach to the voice as an instrument and expression, has a very all-pervasive healing and peaceful stimulation on me. It feels like the absolutely right way and the right time to let myself sink into it and it into me.

But, hey! I don’t want to sulk or complain about stressful times – I’m just stating that they have occurred and I have learnt loads and loads and would not be without it. Both as musician and private person I don’t believe in regret, only in learning. Yet the danger about these types of times in life though, is that they have a latent ability to bring you away from enjoying what you are doing, simply because you rather than pumping, pumping, going here, going there, only really need a break, a gap and some space to take it all in and reflect, and then be ready for more. But then, life is not predictable, and neither necessarily practical to such a degree that it knows how to measure its chunks of difficulties evenly throughout. What’s important, as I see it, is always to remember to BREATHE. And to cherish and strive for the ability to FORGIVE and LET GO and EMBRACE and LEARN.

Now, enough of the elusiveness: Some things to check out and to look forward to:

Check out the pages I’ve done up here on my experience of the collaboration project “meet the mind that moves” with Matilde Mørk (Mørk-Dans) for the Roskilde Festival June/July 2006. There are excerpts of the entire 45 minute long piece of music I created for the dance piece within my solo voice Melatonin concept – divided into 5 parts. You will find the pages by clicking on 'Collaborations/Projects' in the left hand menu under my name, then click 'More...' under 'meet the mind that moves' and you are there, or alternatively click here. There are in all 5 pages you from there can go onto.

The Canadians, Outward Sound Ensemble, are touring UK and are bringing their otherworldly atmospheres and ambient, intimate noise to Holy Trinity Church in Leeds Tuesday the 24th of October. I’ve been invited along with LIMA colleague Paul Moore to contribute to this show and am really excited about part taking.

Curious Voice Duo, being Elisabeth Nygaard and myself have been invited to contribute with a set of our madness and vulnerability to the celebration of Paul Hession’s 50th birthday party down at The Wardrobe in Leeds Wednesday the 25th of October. We are wildly looking forward to this!

Also, we did a collaboration piece with producer Squid improvising material for one of his tracks from his coming solo album and we’re so happy about how it came out. Go have a listen to the piece Human Relations (wicked title!) on his MySpace site: http://www.myspace.com/underthestairsstudio

And, break dance event Fresh Jive is back with a new season. They’ve moved to a new venue, down at The Warehouse in Leeds, and their kick off night hosted by Bboy Shane Fenton as 10 Tonn is on November the 1st with Dj Maxi Jazz from Faithless. Unfortunately, I myself will not be able to make it because I’ll be off to Germany for festival work at Göttingen Jazz Festival with Endenor that day (which I’m naturally really looking forward to), but if you’re up for some impressive movement, you should go down there.

That’s all for now I think. Although I have decided to avoid being too ambitious (due to the need of peace and regaining focus), I have an ambition to try posting stuff up here for you a little more often this next season, so please, come back soon.

Remain open and at faith! And breathe...

2nd of May 2006: Oh my goodness – really about time to strum together some words up here. And, have someone seen where all my colours went?!?! All the sudden, one day, they had vanished. Now, that made me a little sad and upset I must confess. I don’t like colours fleeing from me – I’d rather see them come running, jumping into my arms with big screams and laughter and joyful tears in their eyes. But, well, I guess I can’t blame them, as it very surely is only my own fault, by mistake clicking on the wrong button somewhere at some silly point and not realizing.

But hey, I will very soon (once I get a little time on my hands) paint everything up again, and a new creation, however simpler, will take shape.

So, what’s happening? Well, everything really :) I’m having such a grand time these days. Busy. In fact very, very busy. But that’s indeed how I like it.

I’m today (looking at the watch and it’s 1 in the night/morning, so, yes it is past midnight and turned into today, Tuesday, now) collecting my new Melatonin release, the first of the series “Private Imperfections”, called “Waves of Air and Seasons through Me” from the printer’s. And then doing a little acoustic concert in Holy Trinity Church in Leeds on this Wednesday at 13:00 to correspond with the release. So 3rd of May is the day! Hah, that even rhymed.

I am so excited about this CD. And in fact it has already, before being released, brought me a new collaboration project. I was this weekend contacted by German guitarist and composer (not sure how he’d prefer to define himself actually) Alex Gunia, whom I (living in my little and well-protected, media-boycotting bubble existence) have never heard of before, and who had listened to an excerpt from one of the pieces, Fantasy, on my MySpace site (http://www.myspace.com/mariajardardottir) during the weekend. He must have gone there listening pretty much straight after I uploaded it. And he proposed that he’d like me to contribute with voice material for a couple of tracks on his next album. So, hey! How fun is that, ey! The cyber way.

And, after my little release gig on Wednesday I’ll be setting off for Germany to do some gigs with the free improvisation collaboration Endenor, being Ove Volquartz on woodwind and Chris Sharkey on guitars in addition to myself. I’m really looking forward to that. It sure will be interesting and exciting, and also lovely to do a bit of travelling again. A change of scenery is always inspiring.

And, hey! The trip will culminate in me spending three days in Berlin studying with the Italian born Dhrupad musician Amelia Cuni. A trip of growth. I think I’m really ready for it.

What can I say? It’s all in fact a little overwhelming at the time. I am so grateful for all of this! And very much buzzing. There’s some good energies flying and tumbling around, I can feel it that’s for sure, and it’s just to let oneself trust and lean on the flow and open up for the gifts that life brings.

That’s how I feel these days; I can only thank time and life for bringing me all that is good.

Now, go and listen to the excerpts from the new Melatonin CD – and let me know what you think. Also, if you like it, I can inform you that it will be available for purchase on CDbaby.com in June. But if you want it before that you can buy it with a PayPal account directly from me. Just get in touch. Don’t be shy.

And come hear me out and drop me a line at MySpace!
And come hear me out and drop me a line at MySpace!
And come hear me out and drop me a line at MySpace!
And come hear me out and drop me a line at MySpace!
And come hear me out and drop me a line at MySpace!

Hehe, that was an attempt of an visually sonic echo effect. I shall see if it had any effect :)

Peace and love to y'all!

10th of February 2006: SPRING is sneaking up! From behind, or from front, I’m not sure, maybe both ways. Hormones going mad - starting boiling in the blood which consequently starts steaming around in the veins. Flowers and beautiful women and men blooming and smelling like freshly picked succulent berries on a barley straw. And all this growing light lingering and leaving a sensation of something somewhat safer – but yet, more risky and tempting. Dubious, or rather; anticipating. Yes, that’s clearly the ability of spring; anticipation. And perhaps also; euphoria. Or euphoric anticipation. Or anticipating euphoria. Hmmm...

Well, sadly I have not had time for being so euphoric nor anticipating just yet as I have been glued to various other occupations. Amongst them I have been doing some massive updating here on the site. If you have a look at “Collaborations / Projects” you will find much new and, hopefully, exciting stuff to check out. Some documentation of history there with old-skool Melatonin tracks, or rather; the tracks from the origin of what has become Melatonin as the project is today. Some more history with Kat One pieces Jonti Picking (aka Weebl) and I did back in the days. And, some presentations of more recent work such as the poetic collaboration “siren” with Alec Finlay, Chris Watson and Clive Powell, the ‘singer-songwriter meets free improvisation’-duo Soiled with guitarist Tore Hovde and the free improvisation trio Endenor with reeds and woodwind player Ove Volquartz and guitarist Chris Sharkey. ALL projects have sound files added, so some listening opportunities there for you.

As well I have set up a MySpace account and page where you can check out more Melatonin music (excerpts) and get interactive. The address is: http://www.myspace.com/mariajardardottir Do come along and drop a line or two :)

And, some dates to watch out for:

This months LIMA presents...: This Wednesday the 29th of March 2006:

Sonic Stories: "Sonic Stories is a duo consisting of Kari Nergaard Bleivik on vocals and electronics and Rune Mandelid on guitars and electronics. They will present material from their up coming album (Vossajazz Records April 2006). Original compositions with a focus on melody, lyrics and expanded use of the instruments."

For more resources and listening:
http://www.myspace.com/karibleivikmusic
http://www.sonicstories.co.uk/index.swf
http://www.karibleivik.com

Punch Drunk Bitch:

"Punch drunk bitch-brewed material straight up from under the bum gut.

In this unconventional line up, the band fuses song-based compositions by Elisabeth Nygård, with dirty-ass individual improvising, collective free madness, filthy grooves and the occasional stab of drum’n bass. All preconceptions of the ‘fundamental roles’ of the different instruments are put aside. The band aspires to merge organically as an entity consisting of six equally vital assets, to create a hard-hitting and beautiful sound to penetrate your head and to endow you with a poignant slap in the face."

Elisabeth Nygaard (voice), Didrik Ingvaldsen (trumpet), Petter Frost Fadnes (alt sax), Maria Jardardottir (voice), Matthew Bourne (piano), Dave Kane (double bass) and Ståle Birkeland (drums).

Come down and join in for this powerful night!

Now, after you’ve been listening to some music here: go out into the world and flirt and enjoy yourselves! Long live passion and dedication and curiosity! Ayee!

All my bubbling love!

10th of February 2006: The spiritual aspects of hair cutting:

Right, so I came back from Christmas vacation (and, naturally - as always, and to my great pleasure; work). And, I found, as I’ve kept my hair very short the last half a year (something I do through long stretches of time because I feel it being liberating and doing my naturally hot body temperature a favour), that: Hey, I need a hair cut – it’s far too long and warm now! (That is 2 cm).

So, I got in there with my clipper. But, no, it gave in! It clearly stated an oppositional attitude and simply stopped – and that in a rather cheeky and ‘painfully pulling my hair’-kind of way. And, as a result I finished off the cutting with a pair of scissors. But, now, the risk with scissors and poor mirror equipment is that you most likely will cut your hair uneven (especially at this very, very short length) and leave lines of cutting too much here and too little there on your very short haired head. Which thus obviously was the case for me there I stood, more and more frustrated of the blatant lack of a pair of eyes in the back of my own head.

So, basically I had to wear an improvised turban at work the following day. And after work I rushed off to the shop to get hold of a new and virtuoso clipper for sorting out my poor condition. And as soon as getting home I hit the “Power on” button and set off clipping.

However, due to the fatal abuse of scissors carried out the day before, meaning there were multiple lines of even more multiple lengths going on up there, making me look like a victim of holocaust (deep respect out for using that comparison!), I had to cut it all down to 3 mm length to at all reach an even length. Which, put short, IS namely that: SHORT. And a bit TOO short for my liking. At least in terms of how it looks. It FEELS wonderful and refreshing for my body at that length, but it runs the risk of looking slightly too harsh, and perhaps also just a bit too short for my sense of femininity. (However, most people commented on how female I, all the sudden, came across. Don’t know whether that should make me worry slightly ;))

BUT, MY BIG BUT for starting to talk about all this hair cutting business was that I, as I stood there looking at the reflection of my back head and my neck, anew became aware of the huge birth mark that I’ve got there in the, so to speak, root of my back head.

I know that very many people in fact have a birth mark right there. They might not even be aware of it, or they might not have any other birth marks on their body at all. But it is really, really common, and it almost seems as if a majority actually has some sort of birth mark at that area of the body.

And this triggered my curious mind and questionable being, thinking:

The birth mark in the neck.

Why do so many have a “mark of birth” right there?

And then I went off on different ideas and thought strings which I found interesting as well as feeding my philosophical mindset, answering my own question:

- Perhaps because that particular mark symbolises an Earthly birth, in the form of being born as a human being.

- Also, there exists a theory and learning or terminology called “Metamorphic Techniques” where the aim – which should be attained through therapeutic massage of feet, hands and, namely; the neck or back of the head – is to reach or find back to the pure, unaffected intuition which man possesses at (human) birth. Unfortunately I don’t know very much in depth about this theory nor practise, but I’d sure like to investigate it. And just that brief information on the concept sparked some further thoughts in me.

Because if I build further on this idea I can see the human body being an external, outer layer surrounding the intuition – in terms of intuition being the soul and the body being a pure physical extension, or manifestation of intuition and spirit.

And, as we all notice, our body as such goes through development and progress being “construction” and decay and falling apart being “destruction” all the way through life. But, the intuition that our soul possesses in its purest form – in which it existed (even) before our human birth and the manifesting of/into a human body – is, as I see it, still the same; just s strong, weak, constant, sustaining, present, before as after Earthly existence.

How’s that for an outcome of the superficial act of hair cutting :)

Now I need to post some dates for you:

Firstly, it is in fact my father’s birthday today (yet, he probably doesn’t remember, ‘cause he’s never been high on into the birthday thing – an indifference that I as a result have somehow inherited). A date which anyway won’t mean a thing for you guys. But anyway, happy birthday to the old man!

At the Wardrobe in Leeds on Tuesday the 14th there will be a UK Human Beatbox Championship event. That sure sounds awsome to me! 

My beloved Leeds brother, Leon, the man behind (my 2nd home) North Bar – who indeed is a musician, in case you didn’t know – will be doing some collaboration work in duo with our colleague in improvisation Paul Hession down at The Faversham, near to Leeds University (Springfield Mount) as part of a Hip-Hop/Reggae/NU-Jazz/Broken Beats night they run there on Friday 17th of February. Come on down to shake loose thighs and brains!

Then, as I’ve already posted here before; I will be joined by my sassy colleagues of Røyst, the all female Nordic vocal quartet, down at The Wardrobe in Leeds on Wednesday the 22nd of February for a set of magically tuneful and purely voice performed stories. You better be there!

Also, in case you didn't know, you can purchase Røyst's debut album "Nordic Initiative" here:
http://www.cdroots.com/royst-01.html

And not to forget; the night before, the 21st of February is Kushboo night down at the Hifi. So far it is kept as a secret from me who will be in the line-up. But I am sure we who are waiting for something good will not be left waiting in vain. So goodness to be expected.

My final challenge and quest for you all is: Have YOU got a birth mark in the back of your head :)

Much peace and love out t’y’all!!

20th of January 2006: Ooohh, how lovely to hug some trees again! Went out walking in the beautiful and serene forests of my hometown Nesodden during my Christmas/New Year vacation, and my, oh my, them trees sure feel GOOD! =)

I had a really special and funny experience out there in the forest. Or, in fact, several, but this one was quite amusing. There was a very old tree, completely dry and dead really, but still standing tall and striking. And the reason why I noticed it was that a woodpecker, a very huge one, was sat all the way up there in the top of this tree knocking its beak into the wood with a fist’s force, determined to shape a new home for itself in the speed of a hurricane – which I can understand in that cold. Maybe it had been kicked out of home! And that in the middle of Christmas, but then again the saying is that most family crises are occurring during that holiday, hidden agendas float up to the surface and so on.

Anyway, I can’t understand how they manage to do it! Surely that powerful, abrupt and spastic action must knock the brains out of their skulls. And their ears must be equipped with built in hearing protection.

Now, I sneaked up to the tree and leaned my body to it placing my ear towards the dry wood (the bird didn’t even notice – I’ve got the grace of a tiger ;) Hahah! Don’t think so), and it was so wonderful how the sound, especially because the tree was so dry but still solid, carried straight through it. So, essentially, it felt as if the woodpecker was sat right on the other side of the trunk pecking directly into the area where I had my head, but the distance between the two of us was probably closer to 12-25 meters! Fantastic!

I stood there fascinated with the sound and rhythms for ages.

And when there’s so much snow and such a deep, cold temperature it is really as if winter has put down a layer of sound proofing onto nature. Also clearly because you don’t have as many animals and insects buzzing around, literally, making sound, so, when I eventually left the tree, happy and smiling, the sound of this woodpecker could be heard for a distance of several hundred meters. I simply love experiences like that.

Now, some dates I’d like to promote here for you:

January the 31st: The break dance event I so eagerly spoke of in my last blast up here is taking place at The Elbow Room in Leeds city centre this night. Around 21:00 I believe. My colleague James and I will team up for this one as well. From what Shane Fenton has told me they’ll have one of Faithless’ (the band) members coming down to DJ and possible MC a bit as well – I sure hope! I’m proud of my childhood dream wanting to become a rapper (but never making it for my terrible ability at memorizing texts and lyrics) and I always treasure a good MC session from a skilful contributor.

February the 22nd: CATCH ME AND MY CHEEKY LADIES OF RØYST IN CONCERT DOWN AT THE WARDROBE IN LEEDS! Basically, be there or be square!

You can now buy Røyst’s CD “Nordic Initiative” online from:

http://www.cdroots.com/royst-01.html

15th of December 2005: Ayyeee! Hello dear all!

I’m so glad to hear a bunch of you are having a splendid time out there in those different corners and angles of the world. I spoke to a colleague from South Africa the other day and we got onto the subject of how it really influences you when you live at a different place of the world from where you grew up, or where you’ve spent the most of your life. She said that she some times when trying to go to sleep in the night finds it slightly difficult to get into the right, restful position because her personal compass or angle in relation to the globe is somewhat wrong. I so agree to it, or well, not necessarily only when trying to fall asleep, but also how you can feel a foreign kind of gravity almost, in any kind of situation, when you're far from home.

Another thing is light! Wow, that does very much make a difference for me, being from the North and being spoilt with colossal amounts of hours of light in the summer half of the year, and then only having slim slices of it during winter.

When I was in California touring with Røyst now in November I felt it really strange how the day was hot and full of warmth and light. And then at 17:00 in the late afternoon it was completely dark. For me, I have only experienced hot, summer-like temperatures in a part of the world where that kind of weather and climate would be equivalent to loads of light, lasting forever and ever into the night. But, no, of course, in California and places in similar distance from equator that’s not the case. The climate is hot all year around, but winter still has shorter days than summer. It made me feel quite confused and strange.

And, man, what a wonderful tour! It kicked off in San Pedro, Los Angeles, with two concerts. One at the Norwegian Seamen Church there, - a cosy and a gentle start. And then, straight after packing down our things in the church, we went around the corner and did a charity concert for the users of The Beacon House. I must say, this concert was for us surely our most moving and emotional concert ever. What a truly fantastic audience! We really felt so in tune with these beautiful, impressive and kind men. Big, big shouts out to all of you guys at The Beacon House! We had such a genuine and warm experience performing for you and talking to you. Keep up the good work!

On behalf of Røyst I would like to urge anyone involved in an artistic or educative project to get in contact with the association and arrange to bring your work down there to these very grateful and sweet men. You will without doubt have a heartening and memorable experience sharing your work with these guys. Their website is: http://www.beaconhouseassociation.com

I want to do something a bit cheeky here, something I don’t really do a lot. But what the heck! It’s my bloody homepage and I can say what ever I like or feel on this “Inner scribble page” of mine – it was meant as a totally anarchist page in the first place, ey!

So: See, I was out last night, me and my colleague, dancer James Jackson, went to the monthly night of Fresh Jive 05, which is a night for free style break dancing, hosted at the Elbow Room in Leeds by a couple of different collectives (not sure exactly what they're called) – with Shane Fenton in front, I believe. And it was such a good event and such a great, multicultural and laidback spirit down there! So, the concept is free style dance competition unfolding itself as battling, real duel style. This Tuesday they had some wicked ladies on as well, two from the Leeds crew and two coming up from London, absolutely striking.

Now, I’m not a dancer as such myself (although I do like to shake my bum at the right time at the right place ; ) I must confess), but from working with dancers in different constellations (I'm sure some of you already are aware) I find it really interesting and liberating as an art form, and I think that break dancing in particular is a really inviting starting point if you’re the slightest interested in dance because it is so rhythmic and immediate. Very raw. (Also, this type of event is very social and sharing). And, as I have learned through my music studies we humans very much tend to easily connect with sound and image when it is strongly ruled by rhythm – that’s just how our brains work. So you’re bound to enjoy this pulsive activity of the breakers =)

Also what’s quite special in this style of dancing, I’d say, is all the acrobatic features and how the dancers make use of being in contact with the floor with all the parts of the body.

And, so, the reason why I’m mentioning all this is that I’d like to encourage you readers situated in the Leeds area to come down to this monthly night. I’m not exactly sure of if they run it on a specific date of each month, but you might find exact details here, or at least contact details for finding out:
http://www.breakersunify.org.uk
I'm aiming at going down for the January one myself, so I'll stick the date up here as soon as I know it.

It is a really fresh change to going to a regular club night out. This is a really good community booster and you will really feel welcome. You will also be hefty impressed by what you see these ladies and gents doing on the dance floor, compelling entertainment all through – and not the least; the night is wrapped up by everyone dancing their asses off, and that includes the audience, and, yep; even myself if I'm there. (And no, I’m not paid to be publishing this :) It’s purely out of my own enthusiasm).

And, hey! If you're up for some awesome Indian underground cross over music again; do come down to the last Kushboo night this year to hear X-Stone Roses guitarist Aziz Ibrahim. I'm not performing myself this night, but I really hope I'll be able to make it down there for this one. I've been told they'll be serving Indian food as well, yum! So, be at HiFi Club (near corn exchange in Leeds) Tuesday the 20th of December at 21:00.

Now, that’s a rambling stream of thought for ya! Hehe.

So, lastly, LOVE and PEACE out to’yall! Be kind to each other and surprise the ones you care for with heaps of sweet and heartfelt niceness and loveliness. Make someone an excellent meal! That’s my plan for next weekend actually, making a treaty meal for two of my friends who are moving all the way to New Zealand. And I AM a very good cook, if I may say so myself. So, I guess I‘m honouring their very adventurous and courageous decision with a passionate session in charge of the pans.

Merry Christmas and happy New Year!

7th of November 2005: Hello my dear visitors and listeners! How are you doing these days?

I hope you all are bombarded with interesting and enriching experiences – them being difficult, joyful, heartbreaking or magnificent. Anything to make us wiser, right.

I have myself been greeted with enriching experiences this last month.

I concluded my Master Degree on the 17th of October with my final recital exam. I was happy and so were the examiners, and I have now had my graduation ceremony (without wearing the dreadful and uniform-like costume someone makes a fortune on hiring out!!). The sheet of paper is stating I have been awarded a Master Degree in jazz and contemporary studies with distinction, but says nothing and nada about what I in fact have learnt or gone thru or worked on. Depending on which angle you look from, one option is to boil it down to the irony that I have invested a hell of a lot of money in receiving this piece of paper. On the other hand, it is of course the experience and time in which I have been able to focus on my music work that I have invested in.

The year of the Master course has been a fabulous year – no doubt. Both in regards to my own musical agenda; the manifestation of the results of years of work finally becoming apparent and accelerating beyond my own bubble world (yes, I do like my bubble!), and in regards to the musician environment here in Leeds. With the founding of LIMA (Leeds Improvised Music Association) there really has emerged a more united musician environment. Meaning that, people you sort of always knew were around, but who you never actually knew exactly what were doing, now are more familiar crisscross and everyone’s more aware of each others work and potential. Which truly only can be a good thing, generating more invention and exciting music.

This finishing of my higher education (anyway until the day I desperately might want to do a PhD, you never know if that bug catches you) is definitely stating a closure of one chapter as well as sketching up the framework of a new entrance, a new phase. And with one phase ending and a new one on the door step – there’s bound to be some retrospect views and some thoughts on the new time to come. I think it’s all too fresh for me yet to pin down. I haven’t been able to take it fully in. But I do know, I am feeling very excited on both of these ends, in the finalisation and in the beginning. And I think that if I keep on trusting my inner force and voice, and maintain to strive for living up to my own ideals, thereof the main one about avoiding artistic compromises, there will be heartening and intriguing experiences awaiting me.

Ove Volquartz came over from Germany for some Endenor playing sessions this month. We recorded a couple of hours of music and when I find time I shall search the recordings and try to find some tracks suitable for sticking up here for you. We were supposed to do an accoustic concert in the Holy Trinity Church in Leeds, but sadly the church had double booked itself and we had to cancel the concert. But I am very sure we will arrange for a concert there during the first half of next year some time – probably in March. I think that room will be stunning for the sound of this ensemble.

And, not to forget, I had a great time down at the Hifi Club joining in with the gang of Kushboo and their Indian fused world music for their October night. The place was fully packed with all sorts of different people and different year groups – a really nice mix – who were all digging the music. It was truly interesting to see that this kind of music works so well in a club environment. I have had a strong faith in such a concept and that it would work in those surroundings, because I believe that where and when you project your soul people will be attentive and engaged, and it is naturally then encouraging to experience such a firm confirmation as the turn up and focus of this night.

I know for sure that I’ll never stop being completely blown away by the rhythmic wonders of ghatam player RN Prakash and tabla player Buhpinder Singh Chaggar. They’re such incredible musicians and usually they do some pieces together in a style of duelling, each in their South and North Indian vocal drum language and then on their instruments, and it is simply so satisfactory and rhythmically inspiring to listen to. I adore the facets of rhythmic complexity in Indian music.

Also, in a couple of days I’m off on tour with Røyst again – to California, USA, this time around. I’m looking so much forward to having a dose of warmth and sunlight, my skin is craving for it. (They dry raisins in California, don’t they? = warmth. Hehehe – just an image that popped into my mind).

Apart from the musical work I’ll be involved in and the sunlight I hope for, I am very excited about the cultural experience this trip will offer: living on Hollywood Boulevard, being in the midst of one of the world’s biggest commercial industries, the film industry and all it brings with it, will unquestionably stir up unpredictable feelings in my credulous and vulnerable mind and soul. But then again, Los Angeles and California in general is also renowned for its birth of the hippie culture and for its alternative health and spiritual movements. So, I am sure these two weeks of touring will be extremely contrast filled and wondrously interesting culture wise.

And when I come back from USA I’m diving straight onto a concert with Elisabeth Nygaard in our Curious Voice Duo concert for The Termite Club festival on the 25th of November. I hope to see some of you there! We are very much looking forward to this and I’m sure it will be a great and intriguing festival with loads of neat and crazy acts – yay!

And then comes the exciting month of December when the outcome of a dozen of funding applications shall tick in to my mail box. It’s almost like a sort of potential ongoing Christmas celebration – only, not at all guarantied to in fact leave positive traces or results. My fingers are crossed and so are the rest of my limbs. At this stage there are quite a few realisations of projects, for instance the printing of various CDs, that are highly depending on positive funding results. So let’s hope there are institutions that find my music worthy for support.

I know you guys are spread all over the globe: Mexico, Arabia, The Seychelles, Denmark, Japan, New Zealand, South Africa, Mongolia, France, Norway, UK and US. Let me know how life is on your side of the planet! I’d love to hear from you.

Ooh, just in case you haven’t noticed; updates on the Melatonin Concept page – with pictures this time. Hope you’ll enjoy!

16th of September 2005: I came back from an artistically and humanly very rich stay and experience in Copenhagen yesterday. I was so tired I slept for one and a half day, and still felt exhausted as I stumbled out of bed. But now, 2.30 in the night, I am wide awake. It’s my nocturnal nature taking over now that the autumn is approaching and the winter, with its hibernating magnetism, slowly is creeping up from the ground and out into our streets. Dozingly I can feel it penetrating these walls and breathing a cold breeze of air into our homes, which makes us sense an urge for sleep and warmth under a comforting duvet. I like seasons. They represent diversity and changes – progression.

And that is what I feel now as well, after my Copenhagen work. I feel that working in cross genre projects with dance and movement combined with my live improvisation or musical force is a form of progression, for me personally, and as a stage art form. I feel that what we managed to gain in the work with Matilde Mørk’s piece ‘May All Beings Be Happy and Marie Hallager’ was a very expressive and creative entirety and product that stated something strong in the sense of a style of performance.

The combination of the modern dance and the wordless sound based live voice improvisation conveyed something very raw and abstract filled to the rim of emotional dynamite. Because that’s where we all are deriving from, all the participants; the choreographer, the dancers and me as a musician – we have our source in the tensions and frictions of emotions. As individual artists we have consciously chosen our emotions as our core source for inspiration and resource for energy and power. And however stated they are to us personally on a conscious level, verbally and concretely, - our emotions - we still express them (for the audience) through non verbal sound and bodily movement. Through the different types of vibrations that can be made in time and space; through the vibration of sonic elements and through the reflection and visual friction of light and shadow.

And I don’t think that all musicians and all dancers necessarily are so eagerly in contact with their own emotions. I’m sure there are many, many, in fact innumerable, sources for inspiration for all kinds of artists. Some strive for technical prestige, some strive for beauty and a type of artistic vanity (if it is possible to call it that), some strive for the pure admiration and confirmation an audience can stimulate, some strive for perfection (whatever that means or is), some strive for telling a particular and concrete, verbal story, some strive for portraying their own or other’s reality, some strive for discussing or criticizing politics. Heaps of strivings and inspirations.

But in this particular group and collaboration the raw emotions have been the gold mine for our artistic material, expressed through a set of very abstract, but immediate, channels - and I have found that very interesting and challenging to work with and within.

Aside of this I found out that Copenhagen will be the next place where I shall live. I don’t know when – but in the future of the next two or three years I see myself living there. I really fell in love with the city. I came to realize that there are elements of the Scandinavian mentality and innocence that I miss in my everyday life in England. Something about it being entirely ok to sit in the city parks and sunbathe in your bra/bh and knickers. Something about living in a society where the contact and relationship to the natural sides of life and human existence still isn’t brainwashed by American unhealthy and populist attitudes to/towards the body and mind and the freedom of man and woman. Something about being surrounded by healthy respect and inter-humane trust. A positive feeling and an encouraging influence for growth – and, for progression.

Yes, it seems, I am a hippie! Perhaps a suppressed one :) But I am fighting back!

2nd of September 2005: I’m off to Copenhagen today. It’s very exciting! I will be working closely with three dancers and the choreographer, Matilde Mørk, in some quite expressive settings. An exhibition of young stage artists’ work. A selection of choreographers are invited to show one of their pieces in an arrangement called Dansolution – which also is a competition between the pieces shown, whereof two will win the opportunity to stage another piece produced by Dansescenen (the arranger) and a third will win a tour in Denmark produced by the same.

As far as I can understand this actually seems to be quite a prestigious event, but since I’m neither Danish nor a dancer, how could I know? Hehe, well, I couldn’t. Besides I’m just happy to be part of the work and the initial showing of the piece on the 7th.

What I do know is that I’m sure it will be an enriching experience and that I’m really happy about being wanted as an improvising musician for this project. I love the diversity in the work that I’m being booked for, and the fact that people inviting me onto projects and hiring me appreciates the variety and contrasts in my expression as a voice musician. I guess that is all I have ever wished for really, the diversity and the contrasts.

I am pleased and excited. And a bit untidy in my verbal expression of my thoughts, I can tell.

26th of August 2005: Time, time, time. Where does it go? How can it pass so fast? I wonder... And I apologize for making a promise of updates and not being able to stick them up here in time. I have to make sure not to make such promises, because I can’t stand not being able to keep them.

And as I’m sitting here listening to the soothing music of Kishori Amonkar, late at night, after yet another day of tedious application writing work, I shall try to keep my fingers leaping over this laptop keyboard and tell you a little bit about the “Siren” project.

Platform Projects booked me for this particular project after Laura Harrington, the project manager, had heard me at a solo Melatonin concert I did in Newcastle this spring. As I understood it she felt I had something in my style of performance work and delivery that she imagined could fit the mood of the “Siren” piece.

“Siren” is, as I have perceived it, intended to be a tranquil and meditative sound scape travel where a woman’s and a man’s self-comforting singing fades in and out with the sound of the sea. The piece’s factual visual concept is of the two performers standing on each their pier singing intimately out to the open sea. And the sound journey is in the movement from the one to the other and back again, interweaved with the sonic element of the sea melting into the sound of two voices – a cyclic travel, or wave, almost.

We had perfect weather conditions for the recording session, which took place last Monday at 4 in the morning. It was utterly beautiful; full tide, as of the full moon, calm sea and very little wind - which meant that Chris Watson had the very right conditions for recording the session with a good balance between nature’s sound and the sound of the voices.

I received news today that he really enjoys the post production work he has commenced this week, so I’m very excited to hear a rough mix of the outcome within the next couple of weeks. I know from my own experience that it certainly adds quality to your work when you fully enjoy it – hence I believe it will become a lovely piece.

(And don't forget: Endenor and new pieces at Melatonin Tracks.)

15th of August 2005: I’m alive! I can speak! I can sing! I can create all sorts of vocal sounds again without it coming out as parallel fifth and chords as it did earlier in the week. I have conquered the mumps, hah-haaa! Freedom is yet again at hand! Or at voice, shall we say..?

Well, after that little mumps triumph fanfare I can take a deep breath... and... BLOW ANOTHER ONE! Yes, I have more good news: I have finally been able to make some updates for you, my patient and loyal visitors. I am so happy so tell you all that you will find new music available for listening on both the Melatonin Tracks and Røyst Tracks pages.

There are four Melatonin pieces added, which all will be on the second release Private Imperfections. It can still not be confirmed when the CD itself as a whole will be finished due to hold up of funding and the consequences this has on the sound work of finishing it. In other words, the material is all finished, so fear not, it’s just a matter of practical things to overlap and it’ll be at your hands. You will find three tracks from Røyst’s initial release Nordic Initiative on the site. This CD is available for purchase NOW, just get in touch.

And, yet another carrot; there will during November or December 2005 (fingers crossed) be available a third Melatonin CD containing pieces from various concerts happening throughout 2004 and 2005. My goodness, I’m so pleased and excited about this!

Other exciting things to tell about are:

- Røyst’s summer tour in Norway – did we behave?

- The mysterious and beautiful sound and multimedia project with Alec Finlay, Chris Watson and Clive Powell; Siren, in England.

- And the challenging and magnificent cross genre collaboration with choreographer Matilde Mørk and her dancers in the performance coming up at Dansolution at Dansescenen in Copenhagen, Denmark.

And these three subjects will have to wait for tomorrow because I am absolutely knackered of computer work right now, and really need to go to bed.

Catch up here tomorrow and I shall have the three outlined. Now, go and listen to some music on the site!

And, to finish off I would like to still urge you to have a listen to the Endenor pieces I uploaded earlier this summer. Personally I am growing more and more fond of them, and I am really looking forward to playing with the guys again this autumn. From what I am aware we will be doing an acoustic concert in the Holy Trinity Church in Leeds city centre on the 15th of October. Please do come around. This church has mesmerizing acoustics for live music.

Good night!

11th of August 2005: Hello my beloved visitors! You are not forgotten. I have had impossibilities to tackle regarding uploading on tour, so therefore; no news when on the road.

However, I am now back in Leeds and will very shortly update the site. That is, when I have gotten rid of these mumps (kusma) that I unfairly have inherited from someone whom I don’t have a clue who are. So, this week needs to be lived in a horizontal position wrapped in warmth and healing music, and with as little concentration as possible spilt on other matters than; rest.

Come back in a week or two, and hopefully I shall have some better and less contagious news for you.

10th of June 2005: So, as mentioned in the last note I threw in here, I have wanted to post some of the improvisation pieces recorded in trio work with Ove Volquartz (German reeds player; soprano sax, bass clarinet) and Chris Sharkey (English guitarist ac/el) on the site. And now I’ll stick in a link here to a page where you can find the tracks: Endenor Tracks.

I truly hope you will enjoy them as much as I do!

Only two more days to go, and then I’m off to Norway for touring with Røyst. I hope those of you who can make it will come along and listen. We are certainly excited to cram up together again after a long time being scattered in different parts of the world, and to set off into the fjords and the valleys and onto the mountains. I myself am quite hungry for some spectacular Norwegian nature now, so I believe there will be several trips out into the wild and peaceful. And also I’m very keen on being near the sea, as I, here where I am based in Leeds, don’t really find access to water very easily. And I’ve always been a water girl (with a vivid fascination for mermaids).

The Melatonin concert yesterday was very enjoyable – even though being examined. But the examiners are very open-minded and curious musicians themselves, so my impression is they have a good understanding of what I am trying to do. The Curious Voice Performance also went smoothly and playfully. We did that for Elisabeth’s exam.

I will definitely try to continue posting updates and thoughts here over the next couple of months, but I am uncertain of how straightforward it will be for me to get hooked up with the web throughout touring. So if you don’t see much action here throughout June and July you know why. And, naturally or presumably, I will in such a case come back with a rich chunk of stories after the tour. When Røyst is on the road we sure have a natural gift for ending up creating stories, willingly or unwillingly, so I’ll be very surprised if there wont occur a fair amount of pretty delicious and hilarious incidents worth telling about this time around as well.

7th of June 2005: Hmmm... In a pondering mood these days. Can it be spring? Or, summer as it now is supposed to be? Or can it be female hormones? The cyclic features seem to get stronger and stronger – bless me approaching my thirties. Or can it be the fact that I’m leaving for Norway in a week? Something that usually makes me a bit strange; travelling there, or here for that matter. As a result of feeling at home two places, really at home, you become slightly split. And I usually go a bit mad in the transmission period – so brief stays aren’t very good for me, like Christmas vacation for instance. Once I’ve finally settled in I have to leave again. It makes my sense of existence quite confused. But luckily I’ll stay in Norway for one and a half month this time around, so I think I’ll be ok. I’m really looking forward to it! Going on tour with my girls again. I think it will be great fun and rubbish humour (as we love) from day one. And, of course; beautiful music.

And what a splendid night down at the George on the 2nd! Paul Hession/Paul Moore/Blaise Siwula trio and Curious Voice Duo. In spite of an odd shaped room and a puzzled bar crew (who afterwards expressed they didn’t understand one single thing of the music going on in that room, but they were yet the same impressed), we had a double bill concert with loads of intensity and powerful music. And, Elisabeth and I received some very moving compliments by some of our listeners. What really fascinates me about that is that it seems our music speaks to people of all ages. This crowd was averagely well over forty, if not fifty, and they were digging it. Brilliant!

I received some CDs from my German colleague Ove Volquartz this weekend. Recordings of the work-shopping/rehearsing we did about a week ago with the trio (with guitarist English Chris Sharkey). I was very thrilled as I listened. There were some truly beautiful pieces on there and I intend to stick a couple of them up here. So hopefully in the next couple of days or so; look back and have a listen.

What always is so interesting with listening back to freely improvised sessions is to listen out for how the development of the ideas happens and how the interaction and communication between the players are unfolding. Because when you’re in the middle of it, you are so focused on the moment and on creating the next moment. Whilst when listening back you can really hear how the form and progression of the piece was outlined and took shape. It’s quite a magical sport I’d say!

And this weekend I had my first rehearsal with choreographer Matilde Mørk for her piece that we are performing at the Copenhagen’s modern art stage Dansescenen in September. Very exciting and challenging! There will be three dancers and me. The concept is really interesting for me because I through free improvisation am expected to fuse my sonic expression with the dancers’ dynamic expression; movement in space and time. So, as I already have a very imagery and three dimensional perception of sound, music and in particular improvisation, it is now really exhilarating because my sound in actual fact is becoming visual. The audience will naturally connect the sonic impression with the visual one, so I am looking forward to hearing their thoughts on it. Another interesting factor is that both arts are non verbal, which creates fascinating observations and thought activity when as artists trying to explain to each other what exactly it is we are expressing emotionally in our performance. Because, obviously, we need to understand each other in order to fuse. And Matilde, the choreographer, is directing us in movements and sounds and emotional references to bring the entirety together to match her vision of it. It’s very raw and organic. That is how it felt for me anyway. And we like raw and organic!

28th of May 2005: Yet another fabulous week has gone by and culminated in a super magnificent concert for The Termite Club at the Adelphi in Leeds last night. Elisabeth and I did a Curious Voice Duo set between two sets of Paul Hession (Leeds based drummer/percussionist) and Wally Shoup (Seattle based alto saxophonist) in duo work - who both sure were in good shape last night! We had a substantial, focused and enormously friendly crowd down there, and my impression was that the duos successfully managed to feed the audience’s hunger for improvised and fertile music.

I’m still laughing of the fact that Elisabeth and I ended our set hitting and kicking each other. We did a piece called ‘Playing Games of Bhairav’ as our last piece. And in the middle and the end of that piece we have this rhythmic clapping and shouting game section, like one of those clapping games you do as a child. And as we went along the last one of the clapping sections we started to speed up dramatically, just as an impulse of improvisation, to the point where we actually didn’t manage to complete the section, but broke it apart in hitting and kicking each other in silly madness and laughter. Of course, none were harmed. And actually, thinking of it, that’s Curious Voice Duo for you, in a nut shell; grown up children in action!

Then, naturally, to finish off the night we had a ‘fuse of duos’ piece; a quartet free piece that came out energetic and fresh and seemed to please the crowd. The Termite Club guys were also happy and want us back for some work at their festival in November, so we are thankful and very much looking forward to performing for them again.

Meanwhile I’d like to promote next week’s gig. Another shared double bill concert with another one of Paul Hession’s ensembles, the trio: Paul Hession/Paul Moore/Blaise Siwula. I bet that one is going to be just as wonderful as last night’s! Come along! June the 2nd: Venue: The George (Basement), Great George Street, Leeds city centre, England. Time: 20: 00. Tix: £4/£3.

And, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were spent in the creative and productive improvising company of Ove Volquartz (German, bass clarinet/sop. sax/flute) and Chris Sharkey (English, ac./el. guitar). Ove, a serene and gentle man and a passionate improviser who has been in the game for decades now, has pulled the three of us together for a project of free improvisation also containing the element of poetry. I believe we all in all recorded something like three or four hours of music from where there will be compiled works for a demo CD – I might stick some teasers from some of the tracks on here once they reach me as audio files.

The work was very interesting for me on many levels:

Initially this is the very first professional ensemble project of total improvisation wherein I am part taking. Up till now I have worked with total improvisation only on a rehearsal or recording practice, and then also mostly solo or with players I know fairly well musically in advance. This was the first time I ever met Ove. He came to one of my solo Melatonin performances in March this year, and on basis of that contacted me later that week and asked if I was up for some trio work with him and Chris – which I certainly was. The two of them already have worked in duo together.

Secondly, I had in advance a prejudice that using poetry would create a limitation for me (perhaps because I don’t work so much with verbal text in my music projects anymore), whilst I actually ended up finding great freedom in it as an additional source for sound and sonic/improvisational ideas.

Thirdly, I finally got the occasion to use all those Norwegian poems of mine that have piled up through the years! Wonderful! Some years back I sent the entire chunk around to several of the big main publishers in Norway, but they all rejected my work – something I’ve understood to be common practice the first time you send your stuff out. So the poems just lived on in their appearance in my own books and in my primary school Norwegian teacher’s classes. That was such a nice thing; she took some of my poems onto the curriculum of her Norwegian lessons. Which means that there are children in my home town who walk around knowing my poetry by heart – a beautiful and moving thing for me.

But, well, it now makes complete sense to me, that they were not published in book form, because those poems are more linked to music than I at first had thought. I namely didn’t find them suitable for typical song lyrics, and perhaps neither complete solely as poems, but they really took shape within the idiom of musical improvisation.

20th of May 2005: I suppose I need to write something here for it not to look silly when I launch it. I could say that the last couple of weeks have been absolutely fantastic and enthusiastically exciting for me. The LIMA (Leeds Improvised Music Association) event down at the Wardrobe the 11th of May was a huge success; all performances were great, the audience was thrilled and pleased and teased and I fully enjoyed my Melatonin chunk down there to the utmost! I was, as I tried to explain ahead of my performance, but didn’t really manage to explain, a bit worried about how the sound would work for me. Because what I am doing in Melatonin largely is based on live recorded material (I record loops/passages/phrases onto my different boxes and play them back again live as I am performing, building the piece), and doing this in a club where there potentially might be quite much noise/sound, from people, the bar etc was a new experience for me. I have only, until that date, performed with Melatonin in strictly attentive and silent venues – if I can put it like that without sounding very conservative. But EVERYONE was completely attentive and LISTENING! And, I really have believed, and now have a reinforced belief, that Melatonin is a concept that by all means CAN work really well in clubs, because of its naked and human characteristic, and I am definitely up for doing more of those performances as well as continuing to do the ‘silent/attentive’ performances.

My visit to Newcastle and my Melatonin concert for the Comfy Chairs forum was also a great and very rewarding experience! I’m so amazed to meet all these wonderful and eager people where ever I go. It truly moves me, because I have really not been prepared for everyone to be so positive and encouraging. I guess that that partly is a result of my own prejudice, which I have built up through years of meeting quite sceptical people, or people who could not see the meaning in my work and rather found it ‘a bit strange’ and/or ‘difficult’. But also, and perhaps most of all, it is because I am alone in this project. And it is at times, or in fact most of the time, quite difficult for me to distance myself from it. I’m completely melted into it – Melatonin IS me, so everything about it is very natural and logical to me. And I don’t have to discuss any of the matters it involves with anyone else (unless I want to) like you would do in a collaboration project. So, yes, I feel very happy when people express to me that they really can follow and unite with what I am doing – and that they do so in their own very personal way regardless of background, and regardless of being a nurse, a dancer, a musician, a promoter, a science engineer, an astronaut, or, yes, you name it!

Elisabeth and I did an acoustic Curious Voice Duo concert as part of a LIMA event the 18th of May in the Holy Trinity Church in Leeds, and that really inspired me to also look up more acoustic venues – especially for the duo, but also for Melatonin. I would love to do an acoustic Melatonin concert in that church, for instance in the autumn. I believe it would be ideal for my Indian inspired ambient improvisations. I’ll work for that to happen.

I already now want to remind everyone that there is a very exciting concert on The Adelphi in Leeds on next friday, the 27th of May. The Termite Club presents a double bill concert with two duos, Curious Voice Duo being one of them, and the other one will feature duo works from old school new thinking improvisers; Leeds drummer/percussionist Paul Hession and the Seattle Alto saxophonist Wally Shoup. I'm really looking forward to that!